What on earth is a chi test? Confused!
Labels: Dental School
It is almost the end of another trimester and as I put in the fourth quarter of note paper into my diary I am compelled to re-evaluate my life for the past 9 months of the year.
I pretty much spent the first 3 months enjoying life and the second 3 months thinking about buying a car.
The 3rd quarter has definitely been the most interesting. In a way, totally unexpected.
The truth is that when I was a teen my faith in God was strong. I was one of the church pianists, spent every Sunday in church and pretty much had a good relationship with Him. But from the age of 16 my involvement dropped off - mainly because of some hurt feelings over a production of a play in church. Long story short - I walked away from God. I felt unappreciated, ill treated and was tired of people expecting so much out of me and felt it shouldn't be that hard.
When I came to Australia it was even easier to drift further and further away. First you miss a service once a month, then every couple of weeks and soon just the thought of having to wake up early on a Sunday is distasteful. Things get more and more irrelevant and suddenly you realize maybe you don't even believe in it at all.
Anyway, I'm grateful that I have found the way back to Him, in the most ridiculous way possible.
New Church Friend: So, you're in final year now. How come you've just joined the church?
Me: The honest answer would be that I got a car and figured now that it's easy to travel maybe I should come to church again.
I had initially wanted to just do the go to church every Sunday thing and be done with it - fulfill my obligation. However, I decided to take a step further and join a cell group and here I am - thankful that I made that life changing choice.
What have I learned? I have learned that God works in many ways and one should never underestimate what He can do. Mountains will move for your name is God
Nothing's too hard for You, You created life
You make a way where there is no way
You make me strong, You'll be my strength always
Labels: Life, Ramblings
I'm a avid reader of Questionable Content, which in my opinion is one of the best comics I've read in the past couple of years. Today's comic was adorable!!
On another note, have been baking like crazy to ease my panicked state of mind.
I just can't seem to get myself to do
things. I know what has to be done and what the consequences are if I don't pull myself together but I just stubbornly sit around and expect to learn things by osmosis.
Been trying to hold everything together for the past few days.
I guess the problem with me is that the way I deal with problems is to just pretend they don't exist. As a result, I only deal with the problem when I really
have to. Which pretty much makes me a procrastinator - a procrastinator with many things to deal with right now.
I have to stop thinking I deserve to enjoy life. Stop thinking I can take the afternoon off just because I feel a bit 'tired'. Stop thinking I can deal with problems 'tomorrow'. Stop thinking I still have time. Stop pretending everything will just fix itself magically.
Stop pretending and living in a world of denial.
My Favourite Things
1. Crown Cementation Sessions
- After sessions of toiling over the crown prep, temporary crowns and secondary impressions, the final product is ready to be cemented. Patient is happy. I'm happy. Everyone is happy.
2. 400ml Water Bottles
- Just the right size.
3. Free Days
4. Perfectly Made Bed
- Flat sheet perfectly flat, duvet not too high or too low, pillows exactly right.
5. Pancakes for Breakfast
Class II Div I
"What do you think of this girl? Her teeth arrives 10 minutes before she does!" - Lecturer in Orthodontics
Cruel. Yet at the same time... I'll never forget what Class II Div I means after this.
1 hour of internet a day for 21 days was not easy
. I have to admit that I did cheat a little here and there though but overall I think I kept to it pretty well.
Did I get anything out of it? I would have to say yes. As I flipped through my journal back to Day 1 and see where I am at Day 21, I have to say that a lot has changed. Maybe not outwardly but definitely internally.
I'm feeling... blessed.
Was rostered to work on a Saturday morning to deal with emergency patients.
My swipe card to get into the clinic doesn't work on weekends because students aren't supposed to be in the hospital during weekends. While I foolishly stood at the door with my swipecard getting rejected every time I tried, a patient walked through the door and I proceded to go in.
Patient: Are you sure you have access to this area?
Me: Yes. I work here.
Patient: Then why can't you get in?
Me: I don't usually work on Saturdays.
Patient: Do you mind showing me your ID? Just in case.
Me: *shows ID grumpily*
I know he's just doing what is right by his conscience but seriously - do you think I want
to be here at 9am on a Saturday morning??
Labels: Dental School
I thought I recovered from my bout of cough and sore throat but today when I woke up I felt the unmistakable signs of sore throat. Again.
Starting to cough again now too.
Demonstrator: How does warfarin work?
Me: *blank stare*
Demonstrator: What are the branches of the mandibular nerve?
Me: Uh....the inferior alveolar nerve!
Me: *blank stare*
Demonstrator: What supplies the parotid gland?
Me: *blank stare*
Demonstrator: It's CN IX. Come on...what is it?
Me: *blank stare*
I'm going to fail!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Full blown panic attack now.
Labels: Dental School
What is wisdom?
It is the ability to have insight into the true nature of things. And to know what to do and when to do the right thing for the best results.
I want wisdom!
I don't think I'm a very compassionate person.
Sometimes when a patient I dislike comes through the door I groan inwardly and wish I didn't have to deal with them. They're brash, they demand for all sorts of things, they are usually complaining because they're in severe pain and all you want to do is to get them out of the chair as soon as possible. Isn't it their own fault they got there in the first place?
However, yesterday as my patient asked me to please
give him a shot of LA to put him out of his misery, even for 1-2 hours - I was compelled to feel compassion. After all, if I was having pain that was 10/10 wouldn't I be cranky too? I mean, of course they should have considered brushing their teeth more but it's already done, but we nothing is going to change that so we should just move on and try to do the best we can.
As I bent over to give the IANB to the patient, telling him it might not work anyway but we try our best, his expression and personality visibly changed. By the end of the carpule he was as meek as a lamb and by the time he got out of the chair - all gratitude.
I guess it doesn't matter that another woman abused me for refusing to give her more than 10 tablets of Panadeine Forte - "I know you can prescibe more than that you're just saying you can't!" or that I was stuck in the clinic from 6-8.30pm when everyone else in the hospital had long deserted the place.
At least I put one man out of his misery for 1-2 hours.
Labels: Dental School
This is supposed to be the toughest week of the year for me - hospital rotation with emergency service at night.
Except when I went for the hospital side of it, they said it was a non operating week i.e. I didn't have to go in!
Anyway, life has been pretty hectic for me lately. Mainly because of exams and case presentation worries and things. Been doing pretty okay so far though. Just looking forward to the day all of this will be over.
Labels: Dental School, Life
Happy To Be Alive
Woke up at 7.30am automatically, looked out and realized it was going to be a great
day in Melbourne today.
Decided there and then that I wasn't going to waste this gift and decided to go to Port Melbourne with a couple of friends for fish and chips and to sit at the beach a while, enjoying the sun and the breeze and the feeling of carefreeness and joy. For those few hours, I am not
a dental student with tons of stuff I haven't studied.
With warm weather comes a sense of happiness. I don't do very well in winter - I sleep a lot, am constantly grumpy and just not up for many things.
Can't stop smiling.
Every Chinese New Year when I was young, it was the tradition that all the young children in the family would get a balloon each to amuse ourselves.
How we loved it! Our older cousins who had the all important driving license would drive us to the balloon man and we would wait impatiently as he filled up the balloons with helium. Then we would drive back home with the car full of balloons to play with.
Inevitably someone would accidentally let go of their balloon and tears would result while everyone else watched as it sailed away - higher and higher until it was just a small speck in the sky. However, there were always spares and the poor child would be consoled with a new balloon. The rest of us would be reminded to hold on to our balloons with our dear life or tie it onto something if we wanted to escape the same fate.
Towards the end of the day when the balloons started to lose their buoyancy, it was time to use up the remnants of helium to impersonate Donald Duck. And that was that - another New Year gone and another year to wait.
To my dear cousin who is now not with us anymore - thank you for your kindness to us younger cousins and all the good memories that we have with you. I will always remember with fondness your cheerful nature, your generosity and most impressionably, your aura of confidence and self-assuredness.
Woke up this morning, tried to talk and only a whisper came out.
I have officially lost my voice. Decided that I deserved the day off and did just that - skipped hospital for a day.
Spent the day coughing my lungs out. Feeling quite miserable. My abdominal muscles hurt now from all the exercise it has had to do with all my coughing. My super sporty friend was appalled when she heard that can actually happen to someone who doesn't exercise regularly. I think she now thinks I'm one step from being an invalid due to my inactivity.
And Nadal didn't make it to the final of the US Open!! I guess this just hasn't been my week.
So I didn't realize that it was a 40 zone, drove at 43km/h and failed my test.
I guess I'm pretty disappointed but in a way I blame myself in the sense that I should have made 100% sure I knew every single 40 zone in the area, but I kinda forgot that one.
Anyway, so now I'm left feeling like a failure. It is not a pleasant sensation.
And my way of getting over things is talking about it on MSN and guess who is on an internet fast right now and only has 10 minutes of internet time left?
Only one thing to do in this circumstance.
Got up at the crack of dawn so that I could get to RMH had 7.30am for morning rounds.
Except when we got there they said it starts at 8am.
Except when it was 8am all we saw were a bunch of Max Fax surgeons and registrars perusing radiographs. They seemed too intent on solving problems we figured it's still pre-round time and thus decided to wait.
Until 9am where they suddenly got up and left.
What just happened?
Decided to just come home and make sure I know what's expected out of me for my driving test later today.
Labels: Dental School
What I Have to Achieve In The Next Few Months
1. Get a Victorian driving license.
3. Decide where I want to go and get a job there.
4. Apply for PR.
5. Find myself.
It scares me that in 2 months my exams will be over - mainly because I haven't actually really started studying.
It scares me that my life is unmapped - everything is uncertain - I don't know where I'm going, what I'm going to do and who I'm going to be with.
It scares me that every decision I make now is going to have a lasting impact in my life. Then again, isn't every decision that way?
Labels: Life, Lists, Ramblings
As you readers may have noticed, my spiritual life has taken a turn for the better in the past couple of months.
I'd been praying about certain things and sometimes you just have to say..."This is incredible - God has been amazing!" when you see the outcome.
In many ways I think I've become a more... fulfilled person.Heal my heart and make it clean,
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You have loved me.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours,
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause -
As I walk on earth into eternity...
After being hardy all year long I've come down with a itchy throat and a cough.
I blame either my amazingly awful diet (carrot cake, indo mee, chocolates, Bega Stringers, crackers and potato chips) or my decision to sleep with the balcony door open last night. Either that or I caught a virus.
Anyway, really hoping I get well by Monday because that's the day I have my driving test!
Am currently on my hospital rotation, which has been surprisingly easy for me. All one has to do is stand around and nod, and answer the occasional question. Quite a far cry from the hustle and bustle of RDHM, running around looking for polycarbonate crown forms that don't exist and lower hawks.
I was in one of the consulting rooms and a girl came in with bruises and cuts all over her face. The surgeon had a look at the films and said she had 2 fractured bones and asked her why she couldn't open her left eye.
Surgeon: Was it like this before or did it start after?
Girl: It was fine until my husband decided to use me as a punchbag.
How can anyone
do that to someone? If it was an accident I would feel for the girl but write it down as being at the wrong place at the wrong time, but physical abuse is something that I just... yeah. It was awful. It wasn't just a simple punch on the face - she was seriously hurt.
Am 4 days into my one hour a day internet - it hasn't been that bad. Mainly because I've been going out 6 days in a row and haven't had much time to hang around anyway.
Labels: Dental School, Ramblings
Yes, you are always right - whatever you say is always the right thing, you are never wrong.
Whatever that you are is the good and ideal thing - whatever that you aren't is a waste of time.
What you do not know is something obscure and nobody knows it - what other people do not know is common sense.
Your course and philosophy is the greatest - what everyone else is is just mediocre and substandard.
You hate doing certain things - as if everyone else loves what you hate and therefore should pick it up.
Your competitiveness, your contrariness and your arrogance - I have had enough.
I've given in so much and yet with every time I step back and just do what I have to do to avoid conflict you just ruthlessly take more and more out of me. When will you finally stop?
I know I should not let it happen but somehow I have let it get to this point.
Now every time I see you I just wish I could be somewhere else.
My church is doing a 21 day fast from today until the 21st.
My chosen thing to fast on was the internet. Instead of being online perpetually, I've decided to limit myself to an hour a day only.
I have never been so productive before.
I cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, did my laundry, brought down all the recycling things, cleaned off my desk, sewed on a few missing buttons and it's still only 9.30pm!!!
Day 1 almost done, 20 days more to go.