L.A.Z.Y.
All I want to do is just lie in bed and eat chocolate for the rest of the day.
Like Milton:
It's the last day of the year and as I reflect on 2008 I realize that I don't really have much to say for myself. My agenda is organized trimester-ly so every trimester I will jot down what I have achieved.
First Quarter = nothing particularly extraordinary. Knitted a lot to the point I got an RSI injury.
Second Quarter = Ho Hum
Third Quarter = Got my car, went back to church. It was as if my life had just begun.
Fourth Quarter = What can I say? Probably the best quarter of the year, although also the most stressful in many ways.
Blog readers may think they read my blog and know what's going in my life but the truth is that what I write here is but a drop in a huge bucket of water of my life.
2009?
Apart from the usual wishes for good health and a good start to my stellar career as a dentist (me, a dentist! Sometimes I still find it hard to believe), I guess there are a lot of other things I would like to achieve.
Except I don't actually know what they are.
Labels: Life, Milton, Ramblings
Boxed
Have commenced packing and am realizing that I hardly use
anything.
Am very tempted to just throw out everything but can't bring myself to do so so am just moving all the things to the next destination, the way I did the same thing the last time I moved.
Am throwing out quite a few clothes and probably shoes as well. After a while one realizes that perhaps 3 pairs of shoes is enough.
Labels: Ramblings
Decisions Decisions
Am going to have a look at possible future houses to live in next year on Wednesday. Very excited about one particular one - it has a walk in wardrobe
and a walk in pantry. What more could a person want? Hopefully everything else about it is perfect too.
Also, have been thinking a lot about whether getting a dog is a good idea and the idea is getting more and more appealing. Definitely heading towards that now I think.
Very excited about the future.
Labels: Ramblings
Life Lesson
Even before these exams are over I'm already worrying about the next thing. As I grumbled to my friend that my life was a series of chores and hurdles to overcome, he changed my perspective.
"Dental Girl - these things that you have to do are just like going to buy tickets to a fantasy land where all your dreams come true! What is some trouble compared to the magnificent things in store?"
Thanks for that. :)
Labels: Ramblings
Diagnosis
Am currently writing up notes for my case presentation and I have a question.
Would "gingival recession" and "fractured tooth" and "missing temporary crown" be part of my list of diagnoses or are they meant to be just shoved into the treatment plan?
Confused.
On another note, have finally compiled all my summarized notes into one file and it is 250 pages of Arial size 10 with tiny margins. Yes, I feel overwhelmed. Yup, I only have 6 days to go through everything. No, I might not get my 9 hours of sleep for coming week.
Labels: Dental School, Ramblings
Grey Skies
Woke up to the sound of rain which immediately sent me into my 'rainy day' mode which included my 'rainy day' playlist of songs.
That would mean emo songs. Like:
1. Home - Michael Buble
2. All Cried Out - Allure
3. Hunter - Dido
Sigh. So much work left to do!
Labels: Ramblings
Deletion
I believe that everything in life happens for a reason - that every person that I meet, every decision that I make and everything that has happened to me shaped the person that I am today and the person I will be in the future.
I think the things that impact us the most are the people we meet. And sometimes when I think about it I wish I never met certain people, that I didn't know they existed. For good reasons and wrong reasons.
How do you delete a person from your life? If only it was as easy as clicking a delete button and purging everything to do with that person out of your memory and your life. Everywhere I go different things remind me of certain people - certain events. Even certain subjects are cloaked with the person's presence because it was stuff you used to talk about, laugh about or make fun of. I guess at the end of the day the person has become a part of you in a way, because without that person's presence in your life, you wouldn't be who you are right now.
How do you learn to forget?
You don't.
Sometimes bittersweet memories are meant to be what they are - a mixture of emotions. At the end of the day perhaps the best thing to do is to just try to remember the sweet fondly and take the bitterness as a life lesson.
I was broken, but I have been made whole again.
Labels: Ramblings
L.M. Montgomery
Met another fan of L.M. Montgomery over the weekend. Spent the next half an hour excitedly talking about our favourite books and characters while the other people at the table wondered what was so great.
Blue Castle is probably my all time favourite. Highly recommended to anyone who craves a happy ending, yet at the same time have a good cry in the middle of the book.
Am procrastinating - avoiding study time. Much rather surf the net for homewares.
Labels: Ramblings
Human Nature
No matter how hard I try to be a better person once in a while I still feel twinges of resentment, anger and aggravation. I can't help it.
Which is why I generally try to snap out of such thoughts when I start heading down that path because it's honestly just not worth it - I get nothing out of it but miserable feelings.
Had a mid-day nap that lasted 3 hours. Been getting headaches these few days and just the general feeling of not wanting to wake up. Once I'm in bed I just do not want to get out of it.
On a cheerful note, in less than 4 weeks dental school will be behind me forever - the pre-requisite being that I pass, of course. Lots of my time is spent fantasizing about that glorious, glorious day.
Labels: Life, Ramblings
If there was a highly selective bomb and it would kill either everyone you love, or the rest of the world, who would you pick?
If your dream girl/guy appeared in flesh but wore full dentures, would you go out with the person?
Labels: Ramblings
Tuesday, 14th of October, 2008
Woke up at 11am and proceeded to microwave leftovers from yesterday. Then decided that having no snacks in the house was unacceptable and had to rectify the situation by baking some blueberry rosewater cupcakes.
Currently baking at the rate of 3-4 batches of cupcakes a week.
Very bad.
Then decided to watch Dr Phil. And Oprah.
In dire need to go grocery shopping but can't seem to drag myself out of the house.
Labels: Life, Ramblings
Taps
Sudden realization that I've been taking taps that have the hot and cold water incorporated into one single tap for granted.
Was forced to use a double tapped sink recently and had lots of trouble trying to inch it to the right temperature.
I love single taps.
Labels: Ramblings
Pride, Patience and Pain
Have had lots of opportunities to cultivate patience this week, particularly in community clinic.
Having done a recent bible study on that very topic, I tried to keep all the principles. For example, one should have patience when the situation can't be changed e.g. suction will only work when it's placed a certain way. Or when a person can't be changed. Or when life just doesn't seem very
fair.
Anyway, the way to be patient is to just
go with the flow and replace feelings of irritation with laughter.
Managed to limp along to a certain extent but came home to be faced with extreme pain on the left hand side of my face. Could not locate source of pain. Was it odontogenic? Sinusitis? Random stress-induced pain? Concluded it was probably the latter.
Anyway.
I'm quite tired of people who seem to think that they are invincible. At least have the decency to fake humility if you don't have it.
Scratch the above sentence - I shouldn't be complaining.
Labels: Ramblings
There Is A Time
After 2 of the most tiring weeks of my life I am pausing to catch my breath as I get ready for the last leg of the race, the final of all finals, the most important exam of my life - you name it.
There is a season for everything and everything is screaming to me that this is the season to
study. No time to waste daydreaming, worrying about various inconsequential things or just plain doing nothing.
My ways of procrastinating are predictable. I will
1. Blog.
2. Daydream about what I will do once exams are over.
3. Eat all the contents of my fridge because I need 'nutrients'.
4. Sleep because I need 'rest'.
5. Paint my nails because I need to 'feel good'.
No more excuses. One massive file of Perio notes waiting for me to befriend it.
Labels: Dental School, Ramblings
Piano Lessons
Was talking to a friend from back home, reminiscing about the times when we were young and carefree. Specifically, our times with our music teacher.
My music teacher lived just down the block from my house - perhaps a 3 minute walk. The atmosphere of her home was delicious - the air was scented and everything was so clean and ...
nice. Anyway, for practical classes if I practiced really hard she would tell me to go into the side room and pick out a sticker from the sticker box so she can stick it on the page as a reward. That gave me great pleasure - amazing how such small things could mean so much when one is young.
And theory classes... we would study together on her dining table and being the children that we were, there would be a lot of kicking each other under the table. I distinctly remember one of my friends behaving so badly that he was told to stand in a corner. And I bet he's reading this blog now burning in shame. At least, he
should be burning in shame!
Anyway, they were happy times. All these memories came rushing back perhaps also after playing piano here after a long absence from it.
I miss it. A lot.
Labels: Ramblings
Dental Girl
It is almost the end of another trimester and as I put in the fourth quarter of note paper into my diary I am compelled to re-evaluate my life for the past 9 months of the year.
I pretty much spent the first 3 months enjoying life and the second 3 months thinking about buying a car.
The 3rd quarter has definitely been the most interesting. In a way, totally unexpected.
The truth is that when I was a teen my faith in God was strong. I was one of the church pianists, spent every Sunday in church and pretty much had a good relationship with Him. But from the age of 16 my involvement dropped off - mainly because of some hurt feelings over a production of a play in church. Long story short - I walked away from God. I felt unappreciated, ill treated and was tired of people expecting so much out of me and felt it shouldn't be that hard.
When I came to Australia it was even easier to drift further and further away. First you miss a service once a month, then every couple of weeks and soon just the thought of having to wake up early on a Sunday is distasteful. Things get more and more irrelevant and suddenly you realize maybe you don't even believe in it at all.
Anyway, I'm grateful that I have found the way back to Him, in the most ridiculous way possible.
New Church Friend: So, you're in final year now. How come you've just joined the church?
Me: The honest answer would be that I got a car and figured now that it's easy to travel maybe I should come to church again.
I had initially wanted to just do the go to church every Sunday thing and be done with it - fulfill my obligation. However, I decided to take a step further and join a cell group and here I am - thankful that I made that life changing choice.
What have I learned? I have learned that God works in many ways and one should never underestimate what He can do.
Mountains will move for your name is God
Nothing's too hard for You, You created life
You make a way where there is no way
You make me strong, You'll be my strength always.
Labels: Life, Ramblings
Awww.....
I'm a avid reader of Questionable Content, which in my opinion is one of the best comics I've read in the past couple of years. Today's comic was adorable!!
On another note, have been baking like crazy to ease my panicked state of mind.
I just can't seem to get myself to
do things. I know what has to be done and what the consequences are if I don't pull myself together but I just stubbornly sit around and expect to learn things by osmosis.
Suggestions, anyone?
Labels: Ramblings
Slightly Overwhelmed
Been trying to hold everything together for the past few days.
I guess the problem with me is that the way I deal with problems is to just pretend they don't exist. As a result, I only deal with the problem when I
really have to. Which pretty much makes me a procrastinator - a procrastinator with many things to deal with right now.
I have to stop thinking I deserve to enjoy life. Stop thinking I can take the afternoon off just because I feel a bit 'tired'. Stop thinking I can deal with problems 'tomorrow'. Stop thinking I still have time. Stop pretending everything will just fix itself magically.
Stop pretending and living in a world of denial.
Start
doing.
Labels: Ramblings
Class II Div I
"What do you think of this girl? Her teeth arrives 10 minutes before she does!" - Lecturer in Orthodontics
Cruel. Yet at the same time... I'll never forget what Class II Div I means after this.
Labels: Ramblings
21 Days
I survived.
1 hour of internet a day for 21 days was
not easy. I have to admit that I did cheat a little here and there though but overall I think I kept to it pretty well.
Did I get anything out of it? I would have to say yes. As I flipped through my journal back to Day 1 and see where I am at Day 21, I have to say that a lot has changed. Maybe not outwardly but definitely internally.
I'm feeling... blessed.
Labels: Ramblings
