Tooth Fairy In The Making

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

With This Ring...

I seem to have the uncanny knack of getting the most eccentric patients.

Visit 1

Him: Do you like horses?
Me: *innocently* Yes, I love them!
Him: I used to breed horses. Now I just bet on them.

He then invited me to the Melbourne Cup with him. Apparently, he knows all about horses and I should bet on the horses he believes in.


Visit 2

He came in bearing a plastic bag. I eyed it suspiciously.

Him: I brought a present for you!
Me: Oh, really? You shouldn't have...
Him: Nonsense...take it! You can open it now.
Me: *opens the bag* .....Booties?
Him: Yeah! My 10 year old friend knitted it. She told me to give it to my girlfriend. I don't have a girlfriend so... here you go.

I thanked him politely. After all, I can appreciate how wonderfully the booties were knitted. Plus, the gesture was sweet - albeit in a freaky way.

Things got increasingly weirder.

Various questions he asked me included what was my favourite drink - "Water." and my favourite gemstone - "I don't really like jewelry." Both bald-faced lies, of course. I love taro milk tea with pearls and marquise cut diamonds are Dental Girl's best friends.

Visit 3

He came bearing a bigger plastic bag. Turns out he had cooked a 'beautiful, wonderfully fresh snapper' especially for me. I thanked him as enthusiastically as I could without betraying the fact that I don't eat seafood. Nay, not only do I not eat it, I abhor it.


Him: Could you please try this ring on for size? I want to buy you a ring.
Me: ...What?!
Him: Yes, I want to buy you a present! Do you prefer rubies or diamonds?
Me: !!!!!!!!!!! ...I'm sorry but I can't accept such large gifts.
Him: Why not?
Me: It's not allowed.
Him: Nobody would ever know...and don't worry about the cost. I'm rich!
Me: ....I'm sorry, but I can't accept it. Thanks for the gesture anyway. *clipping on the rubber dam clamp, effectively shutting him up for the next 2 hours while I tried to perform obturation*

Think that's the end? Nooooooope.

He proceded to ask me what my favourite food was so that he could cook dinner for me. "I don't really enjoy eating food... I eat to live, not eat to live." More lies.

He then proceded to ask me when was my lunch. "I don't actually have a lunch hour per se, we just eat as we go along whenever we manage to find some time". Oh dear, the tragic slave driven life of a dental student!

He then told me that I should move in with him to save money on rent. After all, he had 3 spare bedrooms empty. It would cost me nothing! "My parents pay for everything - money is the least of my worries".

I finally complained to my demonstrator at the end of the session. I waited for the advice to come.

None came.

"He what? Hahahahahahaha. Hahahahahahahahahahhah..... Hey guys? Have you heard? Dental Girl just got a proposal!!'

I grumpily handed my treatment record to the demonstrator to sign off.

He chuckled and wrote in black and white - "Patient proposed."

Geez, thanks for nothing. It wasn't even realllyyyy a proposal.

Post Event Occurences

I gave the fish to one of my groupmates. I got a call later that day...

Him: Dental Girl... you should see what's in this care package!
Me: Why, what's in there? Isn't it some fishy fish?
Him: The fish was individually wrapped... there are lemon wedges all sliced up nicely.... olives, together with toothpicks wrapped up in some tissue... all separately packaged! Plus there's a banana as well! Do you feel the love???
Me: ...
Him: And! There's something else for you too.
Me: ....
Him: A pair of leopard print fluffy slippers.
Me: .......

You know what's the sad thing? If it had been a guy I had liked, I would have been overjoyed. Instead, all I feel is... nothing.


5 comment(s):

but what a shame... why didn't you like him? he seems like a nice dude. even though he's moving so fast for someone who hasn't even gotten a first date. haha.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9/20/2007 2:38 PM  

Oh I don't know..maybe because he's old enough to be my grandfather... LOL.

By Blogger Dental Girl, at 9/20/2007 6:25 PM  

wow- its a little creepy but i feel kinda sad for your patient... he's probably just a lonely old man...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9/21/2007 3:44 PM  

hahahaha.. that's ewww then. today i met a random person on the streets that wanted to force me to admit that i love him. i think elderly australians are just lonely, or odd.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9/21/2007 5:00 PM  

Yeah, I think he was just lonely. But still - quite disturbing.

By Blogger Dental Girl, at 9/21/2007 8:39 PM  

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