Tooth Fairy In The Making

Goodbye, Melbourne

2009-01-06T13:12:00.003+11:00

I've graduated and I no longer live the life of a student in Melbourne.

Click here to go to my new blog, which will chronicle my life in the country.

Overwhelmed

2009-01-04T09:42:00.003+11:00

So I admit that I'm starting to get pre-moving jitters.

I guess Melbourne has been my home away from home for 6 years now and on the eve of the move I realize that my decision to move to a country town may not have been the smartest idea.

I'm sure it's just the packing. Been up since 7.30am sorting out last minute things... and there seems to be millions of last minute things. However, I've come to realize that I can function and live quite happily with only about 7% of my worldly possessions (the other 93% already packed up in boxes, ready to go).

Milton has been blissfully unaware of the stress I'm going through and has been having a lot of fun chewing up moving boxes, my slippers and pretty much anything that he can lay his puppy teeth on. The only comfort is that he doesn't pee all over the house - although that's probably going to change in the new place where I have to toilet train him all over again.

Milton Watching - Milton having a look at what I'm doing while he sits up on the chair, happy in his idleness.

Can't wait for everything to be back to normal again.

Dialup

2009-01-03T23:14:00.001+11:00

In preparation for my upcoming move I have applied for a dialup account to tide me over before my broadband gets connected. Am using it now as we speak to test if it's working.

It is. Very. Very. Very. Ve. Ry. Slow. Ly.

With the accompanying buzzing and ding-ing that indicates that you're connecting up. Slightly nostalgic, but not enough to move me to tears. After all, it only takes like 3 minutes to load up one page.

ARGH!

No idea how am I going to survive this move.

Fridge Lightbulb

2009-01-02T16:20:00.005+11:00

My fridge's lightbulb blew about 3 months ago. Being the unmotivated people that we are we decided that our food could live in darkness - we didn't care.

Now that I'm finally going to be moving, I decided to go on a quest for a replacement and was duly informed that the lightbulb I had was 'special' and it would be hard to find.

Haven't tried Bunnings or a light speciality store yet, which will be my next goal.

Packing isn't really as hard as it may seem - it's more the idea of it that is depressing. I probably only pack about 2-3 hours a day and spend the rest of the time taking care of Milton, lying in bed watching re-runs of various TV series and sleeping.

Milton Chewing - Milton on his favourite chair, chewing his favourite chew toys. Has a habit of dropping them on the floor and looking at me sadly, expecting me to pick them up and return it to him. So spoiled!

Milton Wet - Milton after another bath. His ears are particularly difficult to dry.

Before Dinner

2009-01-01T07:43:00.000+11:00

Here's just a video of my routine with Milton before dinner.

I do not put the food down and let him eat immediately - he has to work for it first. I usually start with some simple exercises 'sit', 'shake hands' and then I"ll start mixing it up and making it a little harder for him.

Am currently trying to get him to 'paw up', which is to paw at whatever object I point to. He's getting the drift, as you can see from this video.

Quality of video not so good because I have to hold the camera in my left hand and the treat in the other. Also, was silly to hold it in portrait instead of landscape. Oh well, things to note for next time. Notice that he was confused with the handshake - that's because I usually offer my left hand rather than my right.

L.A.Z.Y.

2008-12-31T10:15:00.003+11:00

All I want to do is just lie in bed and eat chocolate for the rest of the day.

Like Milton:

It's the last day of the year and as I reflect on 2008 I realize that I don't really have much to say for myself. My agenda is organized trimester-ly so every trimester I will jot down what I have achieved.

First Quarter = nothing particularly extraordinary. Knitted a lot to the point I got an RSI injury.

Second Quarter = Ho Hum

Third Quarter = Got my car, went back to church. It was as if my life had just begun.

Fourth Quarter = What can I say? Probably the best quarter of the year, although also the most stressful in many ways.

Blog readers may think they read my blog and know what's going in my life but the truth is that what I write here is but a drop in a huge bucket of water of my life.

2009?

Apart from the usual wishes for good health and a good start to my stellar career as a dentist (me, a dentist! Sometimes I still find it hard to believe), I guess there are a lot of other things I would like to achieve.

Except I don't actually know what they are.

Packing

2008-12-30T10:39:00.004+11:00

Am currently packing up my life for the grand move on Monday morning.

It makes me wonder how I managed to drag everything into this house. There's just so many things!

It's times like this that I wish I had the sense to live a minimalist life. After all, do I really need 10 highlighters and 15 different colored pens? I think not.

Anyway, more Milton photos!

Milton in the wash basin - Was cleaning out his crate and decided to pop him into the wash basin for a nap while I slaved away.

Milton and Froggie - I'm tired of chewing Froggie, are there any new toys??

Milton Eating Breakfast - Is there mince meat today? There is! Yippeee!!

Back To Usual

2008-12-29T19:41:00.003+11:00

Went to Smith Street today with the intention of eating some truffles at Monsieur Truffe but when we arrived it was closed. Since we were already there, decided to explore a few dollar shops around that area and came back with these goodies:

1. Harness and Leash - Milton hate his collar and leash. I tried everything - telling him "NO", dipping the leash in Listerine to make it less tasty and trying to lure him away from it with treats. Nothing worked. However, this harness has worked like a charm. He now walks without chewing. Very worth the money.

2. Water Bowl - Sick and tired of pouring out more water into his water bowl 3 times a day, decided to invest in one of these self re-filling bowls. Milton loves it.

3. Nail Clippers

4. Hair brush - Breeder recommended that I buy a AUD60 brush. Refused to spend that kind of money - even I don't have a AUD60 hair brush!! Bought this instead - works beautifully.

How much did I pay for all of these things?

*drumroll*

AUD9.30.

I love dollar shops.

Strange Fruit

2008-12-28T22:51:00.003+11:00

I was at a friend's house and we were looking at the garden when I encountered this on the grape vine.

Me: Is that some sort of flower or fruit?
Mom: It's a mop head.

In my defense, the color matched!!!!

Wallet Resurrected

2008-12-28T22:36:00.002+11:00

I've had a pink Gucci wallet (leather lined canvas) for the past 3 years and when my father came to Australia for my graduation, he decided that spilling black tea on it would be an excellent idea.

As I sat there and mourned the loss of my wallet (yet at the same time secretly kinda happy that I could get a new one) my dad said all was not lost and perhaps when it dried the stains will be gone.

I dismissed that suggestion as wishful thinking but the next morning - my wallet was as good as new.

Not. Kidding.

All my dad did was to swab it with with some water and left it to dry. Pretty amazing.

Conclusion? Gucci isn't so bad after all.

High Maintenence

2008-12-27T20:57:00.003+11:00

Milton is high maintainence.

After the Boxing Day fiasco he was very quiet at home but seeing that it was after such a scare I decided it was normal.

Then I noticed he was pawing at his right ear a lot. Didn't think much of it until his right eye started having some greenish discharge and upon inspection I saw it - what looked like a scratch in his eye.

Panicked and called the breeder, who told me that it could wait until today.

Went to the vet bright and early this morning (with a Sunday surcharge, no less!) and was told he had a cornea ulcer.

How did he get it? Must have banged into something/got scratched by a plant/scratched himself when he was pawing.

So now he has to get some eye ointment put in for the next 3 days. The good news is that it should heal quite easily.

Feeling poor. However, he's finally housetrained!! Very happy about that. Took 19 days of sleepless nights.

Milton - Lying on my lap. He's very smart - he'll choose the most comfortable spot in the room that's available, be it my lap, a cushion, the sheepskin rug or the sofa.

Milton the Boss - I'll just sit here on this nice comfortable chair and tell you what to do.

Animal Emergency

2008-12-27T08:07:00.004+11:00

Milton was chasing after a pair of shoes when the catastrophe happened - the 24kg luggage my mom was weighing in the kitchen toppled over and fell on him.

As I frantically extracted him he squealed like he never squealed before and lay still in a really odd position. He then managed to get up but had a limp on his left leg.

Panicked, I quickly bundled him into the crate and drove to the vet. For one heart stopping moment I thought he had died.

Anyway, being Boxing Day and all the regular vet was closed and so I had to make the journey to Animal Emergency in Airport West.

Turns out he's fine - although my bank account would beg to differ. No broken legs or anything - just shock. He lay shivering and salivating for the rest of the day. Mince meat perked him up though and this morning he ate his favourite frozen chicken neck with gusto.

I guess i didn't realize how much emotion I had invested in him until then.

Milton after bath - Wet and miserable, waiting for his ears to dry.

Milton and Forceps - Yes, Dr Isabella Edwards gave me a lucky squeaky forceps that would help me extract teeth for the rest of my life. Milton's favourite chew toy.

Milton Down - Milton has successfully "downed". Can I have my treat now?

Milton Bored - Mommy, you wash my feet every time after I pee. I don't wanna!

Milton Right after he'd had his paws rinsed and pat dry.

Enough drama to last me a lifetime.

Botanical Gardens

2008-12-24T20:53:00.002+11:00

Milton isn't fully immunized yet but he was so miserable at home I decided to bring him to the Botanical Gardens - except I carried him all the way so he didn't get a chance to actually sniff anything on the ground. He was reasonably satisfied with that compromise.

Usually nobody speaks to me at the park but today almost every person who passed by stopped to fuss over him.

On the park bench

Milton's Tongue - First shot of his tongue out.

Toilet training is going semi-successfully. Sometimes he's really good but sometimes he has his tantrums. I left him at home a couple of nights ago and visited a family friend with a dog. The moment I came home he sniffed me suspiciously and threw a tanty at me!

Milton: How dare you go out and play with another dog! I'm going to pee in the house!

Which was what he did.

In The Courtyard

2008-12-21T14:59:00.003+11:00

Milton was restless and irritable after for the 5th meal in a row I did not hand the food immediately. No no - Dental Girl had other plans.

Every time it's time to eat, I'll hold his dog bowl and pick out his dry dog food piece by piece and say...

Me: Milton, sit.
Milton: *sit*
Me: Good sit! *hands over one piece* Milton, down.
Milton: *down*
Me: Good down! *hands over another piece* Milton, shake hands.

It goes on and on and on and on...I think I probably make him repeat and learn new things for at least 50-75 pieces of kibble before I finally settle the bowl down (left with almost nothing after his intensive training) and let him eat his dinner in peace.

However, he can now sit, down, shake hands, roll over, turn around and stay. Not bad for a 12 week old puppy. Admittedly, he had no choice but to learn.

Anyway, as I said - he was a little sulky.

Decided to cheer him up. Brought him to the courtyard downstairs. Here's a few photos of him:

What is this place and how do I get home?? - Milton is scared of the outdoors. He follows me everywhere I go outside, probably fearing that I would abandon him.

Flowers? - Milton investigates.

I think I'll try to pluck some.

Me: Milton, wake up!
Milton: Do I have to? :(

Yes, I'm putting words into my dog's mouth now. So sue me.

Different Strokes

2008-12-19T19:27:00.002+11:00

Whenever I mention that I have gotten a puppy, there are 2 responses.

1. Aww how cute!!! What's-his-name-where-did-you-get-it-I-love-dogs-too-omg-I'm-so-jealous!!!

2. Isn't it a great inconvenience how are you going to take care of it dogs are a great responsibility. *grumble grumble*

Micah

2008-12-18T16:36:00.003+11:00

My friend has a grown Cavalier and yesterday night he brought him over to meet Milton.

It soon became obvious that Milton was so deliriously happy to have a doggy playmate that he decided that the only right thing to do was to follow Micah around the house and attempt to hump him.

Yes.

Surprisingly Micah just let this tiny little 3 month old pipsqueek have his way. However, he drew the line when it came to pork bits.

He stood there jealously guarding the piece of pork and growling whenever Milton came near. Hilarious.

As a result of all the excitement last night today Milton is quiet like a lamb and just snoozing on my lap as we speak. I love him heaps when he's this way. Not so much when he goes crazy.

Leash Chewing - Milton chewing his leash. Absolutely hates it. Haven't found a solution to this attitude problem yet.

Yes, this blog is getting Milton centered.

Canberra

2008-12-17T23:32:00.002+11:00

Went to Canberra yesterday to renew my passport and get a police clearance done. Spent the entire day there just to get those 2 measley documents.

This is how the queue system works - they hand out cardboard pieces with numbers written on them. Very old school.

Headed to the CBD of Canberra for lunch and visited a pet shop there. Bought a pork piece for Milton and looked at some rabbits for sale.

All in all, a very exhausting and boring trip.

Exhausted

2008-12-15T14:54:00.003+11:00

Taking care of Milton is almost like taking care of a newborn baby - I'm absolutely exhausted!

He can only hold it at night for about 4 hours which means I never get more than 4 hours of sleep straight. And if that wasn't enough the apartment agent has been harassing us almost daily for inspections in their attempt to rent off this apartment. As a result, I've been having to sneak him over to other apartments/hide him in the closet whenever they come.

All my hard work is paying off though - Milton knows to walk to the balcony when he needs to go and as for his chewing, I've found what he hates the most and have used it to my advantage.

A can full of coins that I shake when I want him to stop biting whatever he's attacking. He really hates that sound.

It's come to the point where all I have to do is reach for the can and he backs off.

Now if only the apartment agent would just LEAVE ME ALONE.

Mentone

2008-12-13T17:23:00.002+11:00

Drove all the way to Mentone today in the pouring rain to visit a family friend. Melbourne's weather has been uncharacteristically wet. I have to say that I am longing for true summer weather - warm sun and blue skies. Not cold winter-like days!

Anyway, the family friend had a Russian Blue cat called Nicky. Very cute.

On the way there, I dropped by a pet shop to get a rawhide bone to keep Milton busy. My hands have been mercilessly bitten and nipped by his surprisingly sharp and strong baby teeth. Here he is keeping busy with his new chew toy.

May that rawhide bone last forever.

Froggie

2008-12-12T09:55:00.004+11:00

Froggie is a handphone holder that I decided to sacrifice to the greater good of preventing my entire house from being chewed up to Milton.

Milton will go to bed at night with Froggie and play with him when he's allowed out for short periods of time after he has done his business. Here's a shot of him and the poor mangled soft toy.

Taking care of him is a full time job. Mainly because I'm determined to toilet train him as quickly as possible and avoid as many mistakes as possible - meaning I have to watch him like a hawk whenever he's out of his crate. However, he's a really sweet little puppy and I'm happy I got him.

More photos to follow - the truth is I'm too busy taking care of him to actually take photos as well as make sure he doesn't start chewing up my shoes and bags and clothes and etc.

One Week

2008-12-10T20:21:00.004+11:00

In the busiest week of my life, it was a week of driving long distance almost every single day.

Started off on Monday when I went off to find my future home. Finally settled on this house:

It's a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom home for me, Milton and another dentistry friend

On Tuesday and Wednesday, I went over to Phillip Island with my parents for a short trip away. On the way, we saw these pelicans at the shore. I've never ever seen pelicans and to be honest their bills were kind of terrifying. Reminded me of a very very large pair of scissors.

On Thursday and Friday I went down the coast to see the 12 Apostles and other attractions of the Great Ocean Road. Went to the treetop walk in Otway even though I am well known for my fear of heights.

Mom: You will never come here again so you my as well go.
Me: ....:S:S:S

Anyway, I managed to do it although I was absolutely petrified. I think it reflects in this photo when I was 35m up, frantically clutching onto the rails.

On Saturday, it was graduation. Here's the first bouquet I've ever received in my life - by received I mean my parents bought it for me and I picked out exactly what I wanted. Brown wrapping paper because the graduation gown's trimming color for Dentistry was a champagne-y brown.

Sunday we headed to the Dandenong Hills. In one of the gardens there was a huge field of daisies so big and pretty I had to take a photo there.

And on Monday I went to Yarragon to take Milton home.

Tiring but fun week. Back to the hum drum existence of reigstering to be a dentist, application forms, health checks and boring moving.

Astronomy

2008-12-10T17:50:00.003+11:00

Read an article online about how the moon, Mars and Jupiter will be together and it was a rare occurrence. Managed to capture that sight a few nights ago before the sun had fully set.

Milton is with me now - no photos yet because I've been too busy mothering him. So far not too bad - he has the sense to whine when nature calls and hasn't really been keeping me up at night as some dogs do when they are separated from their friends. Only thing is that he's in his teething stage now and therefore bites everything in sight e.g. fingers, toes, clothes, wires.

Will do a more extensive update another time with more photos.

Snatch Theft

2008-12-04T07:38:00.003+11:00

As I strolled across the street holding a chip in one hand, oblivious to everything and enjoying the coastal scenery, I felt something flutter over my shoulder and a tug on my fingers.

Looked down and realized that my chip was gone and a seagull was triumphantly flying away with it.

Never knew they were so bold.

2008-12-04T00:23:00.000+11:00

Life is good.

More details when everything is settled down. Busy busy for now.

Boxed

2008-11-29T22:24:00.002+11:00

Have commenced packing and am realizing that I hardly use anything.

Am very tempted to just throw out everything but can't bring myself to do so so am just moving all the things to the next destination, the way I did the same thing the last time I moved.

Am throwing out quite a few clothes and probably shoes as well. After a while one realizes that perhaps 3 pairs of shoes is enough.

My Poor Car

2008-11-29T08:02:00.002+11:00

When my car was 3 weeks old, someone couldn't park and scratched the left back of my car.

Painful, but I got over it.

This morning when I went down to wash my car I realized that someone couldn't park and scratched the left front of my car.

Why?

:(

To Do List

2008-11-27T20:50:00.002+11:00

1. Renew passport and get a police check in Canberra.
2. Buy all puppy related merchandise e.g. collar, dog bowls, crates, toys etc.
3. Plan for parent's upcoming visit.
4. Find my future house.
5. Apply for my PR.
6. Graduation.
7. Pack all things and move.
8. Throw away all useless things.
9. Get another TB check.
10. Farewell presents, Christmas presents etc.

Blacktree Autumn Stardust

2008-11-27T16:29:00.003+11:00

Drove down to Yarragon today to visit a Cavalier breeder.

Went into a typical farm house and this was the sight I saw:

Puppies

Breeder's Show Dogs - Breeder has managed to produce one champion and a couple of runner ups. She had at least 15 cavaliers but I didn't get the chance to take photos of all of them.

Then of course there was the agony of choosing. Had a very hard time. One of the pups was beautiful but she was Class II and in the end I decided against it because of potential problems later e.g. feeding, palate trauma etc.

After much deliberation, finally settled on this boy:

I've decided to call him Autumn Stardust. The breeder's name is Blacktree and therefore his full name is Blacktree Autumn Stardust.

Before shooting me down for giving such a ridiculous name for my dog, I must first state that it's only his official name. Very likely he's going to be called Milton daily. Why Milton? Why, Milton's solution of course! This way I get to give ridiculous names and yet please everybody else around me who has been very abusive about my name choice.

Bringing him home 8th of December.

Happiness.

26th November, 2008

2008-11-26T19:47:00.002+11:00

Probably one of the best days of my life.

Firstly, it was confirmed that I had successfully passed my final year.

Secondly, I passed my Victorian Driving Test.

Thirdly, I confirmed a visit with a Cavalier Spaniel breeder down in Yarragon tomorrow.

Life has never been sweeter.

Am currently packing up all my textbooks and study related materials because frankly, will definitely not be using them for at least a good 2 months. Am learning from past experiences and using small boxes only to pack books.

Very happy.

2008-11-26T09:42:00.001+11:00

I MADE IT!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-25T17:19:00.002+11:00

So I get an email at 4.36pm saying that our results will only be out on Thursday 3am. Have they no mercy?

I can't buy my dog - how can I when I'm not even sure I made it? By the time the results come out the puppy I've chosen would have probably be sold. I can't book my graduation things. All I'm left with is a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and just wanting to know.

Can't function.

Driving Test

2008-11-25T09:05:00.002+11:00

Going to attempt to get my Victorian Driving License for the second time tomorrow. Frankly, have not been practicing at all. However, will make sure I know every single 40 zone in Carlton before I go, seeing that was the reason I failed the last time. *sulk*

Seems ridiculous that while I'm sick with fear that I'm not going to pass my final exams I have to worry about this as well. Shouldn't have booked it at this time period.

*chewing fingernails*

Packing...

2008-11-24T19:29:00.002+11:00

Results will be out tomorrow and then I will know if I made it or...well.... didn't.

My room is finally looking like a room again rather than like a book-tornado zone. Of course, I must confess it's partly because my parents are coming on Sunday and everything has to be in tip top condition.

Have found a beautiful Cavalier girl in Central Victoria - however I can't actually confirm my decision until the results are out. Also, the breeder wants me to take her now which isn't really the best of times. Will have to somehow work around it.

Hmm...

Surrender All

2008-11-23T23:50:00.004+11:00

A month ago I heard this song at church. Confident that someone will somehow know it, I didn't bother remembering the lyrics and just remembered that there was a lot of 'Surrender all' repeats.

How wrong I was.

After extensive Googling and asking around finally my friend managed to find the song title. It's called Surrender All (surprise surprise) by the Parachute Band.

God of mercy - show Your mighty hand
God of wonder - breathe on us again
You're my King and all consuming fire
Heaven shakes - Your might tears up the sky

Surrender all, surrender all
I'm dead to sin, alive within
Surrender all, surrender all

God Almighty - change my dark to light
God of passion - gave Your blood as life
You're my King and all consuming fire
Strip away the flesh and take me higher

2008-11-20T12:40:00.003+11:00

Melbourne weather has been decidedly unpleasant.

It's almost summer and all I see outside are grey clouds and chilly weather. One would think that a few pleasant 23 days would come along but so far it hasn't been all that great at all.

On another note, met up with a few Batu Pahat friends over the week. Spent 5 hours in Langham hotel having high tea. Yes - we arrived when the lunch crowd were there and left when the after work crowd arrived. There was just so much catching up to do!

Looking forward to the end of November.

Precious Pups

2008-11-17T18:45:00.002+11:00

Who could have known that trying to get a dog was even harder than getting a job?

Rather discouraging.

2008-11-16T23:37:00.002+11:00

Been eating non stop and going out non stop since my liberation from exams.

Must stop eating!!

Also, have finally decided that yes, I am most definitely getting a dog. Thus, have been obsessively looking up dog breeders and training manuals and dog related merchandise in anticipation of the proud moment I'm going to be a dog owner.

Apparently I'm akin to a pregnant mother.

*shrug*

Decisions Decisions

2008-11-14T23:38:00.005+11:00

Am going to have a look at possible future houses to live in next year on Wednesday. Very excited about one particular one - it has a walk in wardrobe and a walk in pantry. What more could a person want? Hopefully everything else about it is perfect too.

Also, have been thinking a lot about whether getting a dog is a good idea and the idea is getting more and more appealing. Definitely heading towards that now I think.

Very excited about the future.

Life Lesson

2008-11-13T23:48:00.002+11:00

Even before these exams are over I'm already worrying about the next thing. As I grumbled to my friend that my life was a series of chores and hurdles to overcome, he changed my perspective.

"Dental Girl - these things that you have to do are just like going to buy tickets to a fantasy land where all your dreams come true! What is some trouble compared to the magnificent things in store?"

Thanks for that. :)

Freedom Is Beckoning

2008-11-12T22:50:00.002+11:00

Exams are not even over and already there are a host of post exam plans.

For one, nobody is going to stay in on Friday after exams.

For two, Saturday is probably going to be spent catching up with church friends and going to church. Feeling spiritually dry. Exams have really taken a toll on my life and I really need to get back into it.

For three, one of my childhood friends is coming to Melbourne from Sydney for a visit! Will also be catching up with other childhood friends that I have not seen for months.

For four, my long awaited lesson on how to make a gingerbread house will finally commence on Monday! It has been 6 months in the waiting because I've been so busy and too guilty to waste my day making houses out of biscuits and candy.

For five, I'll be house hunting!

Strangely enough shopping is not the top priority this year. I thought I'd like to buy a couple of things but I realize that not having them would not really significantly change my life. However, might change my mind on Friday. Best not to talk too soon.

2. More. Days.

And Then There Was One...

2008-11-11T13:04:00.002+11:00

Got over my orals.

It annoys me that after studying thousands of pages of notes (well, it feels that way) they just ask a few questions that seems completely inconsequential compared to everything else I've studied.

Anyway, I think I did okay except the examiner kind of suggested that what I said was a white spot and managed it by remineralizing it was cavitated. Well, not suggested. More like...

Examiner: 23D has cavitation. How would you manage it?
Me: :S

I'm not sure if she was stating it as a fact or as a hypothetical. But surely my patient didn't have a cavity there??? I wasn't even sure if it was worth remineralizing and the demonstrator at that time said it was fine! :S I should have just taken an x-ray!! But aren't canines transilluminatable?! She said they aren't and seemed sort of dubious about my management because I didn't.

However, she said 'Good' at the end. You don't say 'good' if you're going to fail someone. Right?

Had a sleepless night over this and probably will be having more sleepless nights until I know for sure.

Anyway, one more paper to go on Friday. Can't wait.

At Long Last

2008-11-09T12:06:00.002+11:00

After months, no - years - of waiting for this moment, it has finally come.

Woke up feeling that it was surreal - couldn't believe that it's finally the eve of the exams that are going to be the last exams ever (hopefully).

Unfortunately, have been sick for the past couple of days. No doubt from my shocking diet and lifestyle.

5 more days and it's all over.

Rollercoaster

2008-11-07T20:48:00.002+11:00

First thing I saw in my email was the list of examiners for my case presentation exam.

Next thing I knew they said that it was not the real list of examiners and that they've drawn up a new one.

Then 5 hours later they say that yes, it IS the real list.

ARGH!

As my housemate said - Quit Playing Games With My Heart.

It's About Time

2008-11-07T09:19:00.002+11:00

After 2 months of eating Norsiah's and KFC and every fried thing imaginable whenever the menu comes my way, I've developed a mild sore throat.

I guess it's all my own fault.

Should try to cook but honestly couldn't be bothered - who has the mood to do anything in this period?

Maybe I'll go Subway today instead...

When I'm Bored...

2008-11-06T18:50:00.002+11:00

After studying I do these things:

1. Check out Questionable Content.
2. Look at houses for rent online in search of my future home next year.
3. Look at home furnishings in various different websites.
4. Look at hobbies to pursue in various different websites
5. Look at Cavalier Spaniels available for sale in various different websites.

8 more days!!!

Moths

2008-11-04T23:42:00.002+11:00

Came back from a friend's house looking forward to a good night's rest only to be greeted by a moth in my room.

I'm not particularly scared of moths but neither am I fond of them. Decided to shower and hope that it would voluntarily leave my room.

Not to be. When I came back, it was still at the exact spot it was at before I showered. Perplexed, I decided to spray some air freshener at its direction. What was first a timid spray soon became full blown sprays. Soon my entire room was smelling of "Sparkling Citrus" and it was still in my room.

Getting increasingly aggravated, I decided to prod it with stick instead. What was at first very furtive attempts of prodding it (more like prodding the area around it) became full on shoves on the moth.

Still refused to leave my room. Already hot and flustered at this point, I decided to proceed to smack it like it was a tennis ball and my stick was a racket. Finally, it landed on the floor and I vacuumed it up.

Enough exercise for one night. Absolutely exhausted now.

Diagnosis

2008-11-03T22:22:00.002+11:00

Am currently writing up notes for my case presentation and I have a question.

Would "gingival recession" and "fractured tooth" and "missing temporary crown" be part of my list of diagnoses or are they meant to be just shoved into the treatment plan?

Confused.

On another note, have finally compiled all my summarized notes into one file and it is 250 pages of Arial size 10 with tiny margins. Yes, I feel overwhelmed. Yup, I only have 6 days to go through everything. No, I might not get my 9 hours of sleep for coming week.

Twenty Three

2008-11-03T10:27:00.003+11:00

Parents are coming over from Malaysia for my graduation (please God, please don't let them come for nothing) and so my mom was asking if I needed anything in terms of face care.

Mom: How much more face moisturizer do you have?
Me: Oh, heaps. Don't bother bringing any more.

Got a lecture about how me being 23 is not the same as an irresponsible 16 year old who can just do nothing and have young and glowing skin. No no - good skin comes at a price.

Traumatised me back into my 5 step face care plan. Not sure how long it's going to last. We will see.

Grey Skies

2008-11-01T22:45:00.002+11:00

Woke up to the sound of rain which immediately sent me into my 'rainy day' mode which included my 'rainy day' playlist of songs.

That would mean emo songs. Like:

1. Home - Michael Buble
2. All Cried Out - Allure
3. Hunter - Dido

Sigh. So much work left to do!

Me?

2008-10-31T21:31:00.003+11:00

Your Autumn Test Results

You are a dynamic, vibrant person. You aren't afraid to pursue your passions.

When you are happiest, you are calm. You appreciate tradition and family. You enjoy feeling cozy.

You tend to be afraid of change. You are never ready for things to be different.

You find love to be the most comforting thing in the world. You feel at peace when you're with your loved ones.

Your ideal day is active and full. You like to keep busy with your favorite things, and you appreciate a routine.

You tend to live in the moment. You enjoy whatever is going on, and you don't obsess over the past or future.

The Autumn Test

What Your Bed Says About You

Outward appearances are a concern of yours, but not your primary concern. You try to take care of yourself and your home, but it's not an obsession.

You try to be an organized person, but you often fall behind. Certain parts of your life tend to fall into chaos.

You are very high maintenance. You like everything a certain way, and you're grumpy if things aren't the way you like them.

In relationships, you tend to be quite dominant. You enjoy taking charge.

You tend to be a down to earth, practical person. You think in terms of what is actual.

You are a total homebody. You are happiest when you're at home.

What Does Your Bed Say About You?

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

Deep down, you vastly prefer being with others to being alone. You love to engage people in conversation.

You are good with your place in the world. You are confident and comfortable with who you are.

Your gift is relating to other people. You don't hide from your own emotions, and you are good at drawing other people out.

You are inspired by what is possible. Real life is often too ordinary for you.

It's very easy for you to feel happy. You can find peace with any situation.

The Personality Test at 35,000 Feet

One Down

2008-10-31T13:01:00.002+11:00

Our research presentation is finally over. Now all I have to do is get over another 3 hurdles - case presentation, treatment planning and a written paper and I'm free.

Have seemed to have lost my motivation this couple of days. All I want to do is lie in bed and sleep.

Back to work.

Deletion

2008-10-29T22:50:00.000+11:00

I believe that everything in life happens for a reason - that every person that I meet, every decision that I make and everything that has happened to me shaped the person that I am today and the person I will be in the future.

I think the things that impact us the most are the people we meet. And sometimes when I think about it I wish I never met certain people, that I didn't know they existed. For good reasons and wrong reasons.

How do you delete a person from your life? If only it was as easy as clicking a delete button and purging everything to do with that person out of your memory and your life. Everywhere I go different things remind me of certain people - certain events. Even certain subjects are cloaked with the person's presence because it was stuff you used to talk about, laugh about or make fun of. I guess at the end of the day the person has become a part of you in a way, because without that person's presence in your life, you wouldn't be who you are right now.

How do you learn to forget?

You don't.

Sometimes bittersweet memories are meant to be what they are - a mixture of emotions. At the end of the day perhaps the best thing to do is to just try to remember the sweet fondly and take the bitterness as a life lesson.

I was broken, but I have been made whole again.

When Will This End?

2008-10-28T17:27:00.003+11:00

I made up my notes for my 4th year exams and studied just what I made up - and managed to get through it just fine.

This year when I look at them I can't believe I had the nerve to just go into the exams with that little knowledge in my mind. Thus, been adding additional notes to everything and although I've been doing it for the past couple of weeks the things to add seems unending!

It's times like this that I wish that notes would magically write themselves and just by touching textbooks knowledge will infuse into my brain through osmosis.

If only!

Wishlist

2008-10-28T13:30:00.002+11:00

Haven't been making many wishlists lately. However, these are a few things that would serve me well.

1. A new computer - No offense to my current iBook G3 (Yes, 3!!! To illustrate how old it is!!) but I don't think it can physically keep up with the things I want to do. This blog is devoid of pictures because to upload photos and edit them is just too much for this computer to handle. Am looking forward to getting a new one.

2. Luggage - A nice overnight sort of bag thingie would be good for my trips back to Melbourne next year. Well, that's what I think I would be doing anyway. Who knows? I might love country life so much I might not want to leave.

3. A Cavalier Spaniel - Still undecided if I should make that 10 year commitment and get a dog. I guess it's because I'm not sure what's going to happen in the next 10 years. Been thinking a lot about this.

4. Flatware - Am currently eating with forks and spoons that are not firmly attached to their handles. It is not a pleasant experience to be eating cereal halfway and then realizing your spoon has fallen into the milk.

5. Tableware

All very expensive things. Have to prioritize wisely.

Snippits of the Past

2008-10-27T22:58:00.002+11:00

Browsed through my old blogs and realized that the person I was 4 years ago and the person I am now are two completely different people.

The person I was 4 years ago was perpetually depressed. Half my posts are about how I can't get out of bed and I hate my life. I have no idea how I lived like that.

I found this post after 9 months of living with that housemate from hell in my 3rd year. I read it now and I am brought back to the time where I felt so bad I could not even get out of bed.

For 9 months I endured everything from stolen peanut butter, missing toothbrushes, stolen towels, dirty kitchen, missing scarf without really snapping.

Sure, I snapped when my scarf disappeared. More like collapsed and couldn't get out of bed for an entire weekend. But now the small things are really getting to me. In short, I'm going crazy. Seriously.

I left a huge hostile note telling my housemate to &*(#@*)@ shut the microwave oven after using. It's one of my pet peeves. Hostile note also informed her to CLEAN UP AFTER HERSELF after she spills whatever she spills in the microwave.

Am I a demanding person? Is it a huge demand??

She heeded the note for a grand total of three days. WOW.

Doesn't help that a box of tissue paper (the only thing that isn't under lock and key in my room) that I left in the living room has mysteriously disappeared.

What have I done to deserve this? Is it because there's things that I'm doing that aggravates her and she's doing things like this on purpose to piss me off?

Is this karmic retribution for...oh, I don't know - not volunteering for charity or something? Being a little bit mean to a couple of people? Being me? WHAT? WHAT?

WHAT?!?!?!?!??!?!!??!?!?

Do I have to reconcile with all the people in the past? Do I have to forgive everybody? Do I have to be nicer to my patients? What have I done to deserve this? This is punishment isn't it? Because if it isn't WHY ME?!?!?!?!!

Going crazy. Seriously - my sanity is on the line. Can't take a lot of this anymore.

I can read this post and laugh now but the truth is that at that point in time I was actually semi-suicidal.

Am grateful that part of my life is officially over.

L.M. Montgomery

2008-10-27T15:07:00.003+11:00

Met another fan of L.M. Montgomery over the weekend. Spent the next half an hour excitedly talking about our favourite books and characters while the other people at the table wondered what was so great.

Blue Castle is probably my all time favourite. Highly recommended to anyone who craves a happy ending, yet at the same time have a good cry in the middle of the book.

Am procrastinating - avoiding study time. Much rather surf the net for homewares.

2008-10-27T00:59:00.002+11:00

Dreamt that I had a cavity on my 47D and was frantically trying to remineralize it with ToothMousse the entire night.

Been eating a block of Cadbury Fruit and Nut - the only thing preventing me from finishing the entire block off right now is the fact that my palate and tongue have been subjected to trauma from the nuts in the chocolate.

Also have been revisiting old worship songs. Very nostalgic. Reminds me of the time I was still 13, giggling with church friends after service and all the teenage love dramas. Dramas generally centered around the fact that nobody was allowed to date - therefore there was lots of sneaking around and chain phone-calling.

Sigh.

Scrabble

2008-10-25T09:13:00.002+11:00

Relived my passion for Scrabble last night when I should have been studying stacks of Perio notes.

There's something about trying to form the longest word possible while scoring bonus points that really motivates me to use my brain - the way Perio notes don't.

This brought me back to the days in Second Year when I was playing Literati on Yahoo! Games every half an hour or so after reading through one lecture because I needed a 'break'.

Anyway, it's time to truly pull my socks up and study 'for real'. After that - wheee!

Revelation

2008-10-24T11:08:00.001+11:00

In 3 weeks, everything is over!!

So near yet so far.

Warm and Fuzzy

2008-10-23T16:35:00.003+11:00

It was the last patient of the day and I just wanted to go home. Mainly because I was having menstrual cramps and it had been a long day.

Finished off a 11 palatal filling and asked the patient if it felt fine. Patient then decided to tell me that she wanted me to widen the tooth so that I could close the gap between that tooth and her denture.

Decided to be nice even though it was a purely cosmetic procedure, it was already late, she really should have told me about it before I started rather than at the end and I was in pain. Proceeded to add on some resin composite on the mesial to make it prettier.

The result was lovely. Patient was so happy she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

And that is why I love doing anterior resin composites.

2008-10-22T16:47:00.001+11:00

Feeling uneasy. Very uneasy.

:S

2008-10-21T23:22:00.002+11:00

Have suddenly realized that the header of my blog isn't showing up.

May have not been showing up for a few months now for all I know because I rarely look at my blog itself.

Problem is all my blog things are all in a thumb drive that I cannot find, and have not been able to find for the past 4 months.

I guess my blog is just going to be headerless until I find it.

Tea For None

2008-10-21T18:21:00.002+11:00

My teacup from my teaset was broken yesterday. It somehow fell out of the drying rack and ended up on the floor, in pieces.

I guess in a way I feel sorry - I did like my little teaset. However, the one comfort that I have is that I get to buy a new one.

Been browsing but have yet to meet 'the' teaset. Will persevere.

Once Again

2008-10-21T11:58:00.002+11:00

About one and a half years ago I was seized with an intense desire to own a dog. A Blenhiem King Charles Cavalier Spaniel to be precise. But when I talked to my parents they were a brick wall. They said no.

Dogs are dirty, you don't have time, you don't really want a dog, you're a student not a dog carer etc.

In retrospect they were wise - there was no way I could have taken care of a dog properly over this past one and a half years. However, as a new chapter of my life approaches, I believe I can take care of a dog should I choose to get one next year.

Seriously considering getting one in December. I'm just not sure if it's the right thing to do.

Hmm...

A Real Gentleman

2008-10-20T18:32:00.002+11:00

"A gentleman never stands a lady up" - Will from Questionable Content

That said after he got run over by a truck.

Awwwwwww.....

2008-10-20T16:49:00.001+11:00

Missed the last train home.
Birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone.

Well I'm pushing myself to finish this part,
I can handle a lot,
But one thing I'm missing is in your eyes.

Eyes - Rogue Wave

I dreamt of you again last night. Will I ever get over you?

Rriiaooww!

2008-10-20T13:37:00.002+11:00

Been really grumpy.

Can't wait for exams to be over!

Human Nature

2008-10-19T17:57:00.003+11:00

No matter how hard I try to be a better person once in a while I still feel twinges of resentment, anger and aggravation. I can't help it.

Which is why I generally try to snap out of such thoughts when I start heading down that path because it's honestly just not worth it - I get nothing out of it but miserable feelings.

Had a mid-day nap that lasted 3 hours. Been getting headaches these few days and just the general feeling of not wanting to wake up. Once I'm in bed I just do not want to get out of it.

On a cheerful note, in less than 4 weeks dental school will be behind me forever - the pre-requisite being that I pass, of course. Lots of my time is spent fantasizing about that glorious, glorious day.

2008-10-19T12:01:00.000+11:00

If there was a highly selective bomb and it would kill either everyone you love, or the rest of the world, who would you pick?

If your dream girl/guy appeared in flesh but wore full dentures, would you go out with the person?

Research

2008-10-17T18:52:00.003+11:00

Spent a good hour at least trying to get the perfect Powerpoint presentation template for our research presentation. Finally decided on what we thought looked earnest yet at the same time, full of symbolisms related to our project.

Discussing things with schoolmates now invariable leads into mini panic attacks. Everyone seems to know everything.

Stress.

Tuesday, 14th of October, 2008

2008-10-13T16:00:00.004+11:00

Woke up at 11am and proceeded to microwave leftovers from yesterday. Then decided that having no snacks in the house was unacceptable and had to rectify the situation by baking some blueberry rosewater cupcakes.

Currently baking at the rate of 3-4 batches of cupcakes a week. Very bad.

Then decided to watch Dr Phil. And Oprah.

In dire need to go grocery shopping but can't seem to drag myself out of the house.

The Little Things...

2008-10-12T23:34:00.002+11:00

Things that have been keeping me fascinated this week:

1. Silicon Molds - Not the ones that don't work, but the ones that actually really are non-stick. I recommend Pyrex. Quite miraculous. Makes cleanup a breeze and saves on paper cupcake liners.

2. Steam irons.

3. eTag for Citylink.

October Evening

2008-10-12T20:19:00.002+11:00

As I stood on the balcony of my apartment, watching the sky slowly turn from blue to orange and finally black - and watching apartment lights turning on one by one in the neighbouring apartment block I realized how grateful I am to be in Melbourne.

In times like this I forget that I only have 4 weeks to exams and enjoy life for what it is.

Feeling peace.

Taps

2008-10-12T11:22:00.002+11:00

Sudden realization that I've been taking taps that have the hot and cold water incorporated into one single tap for granted.

Was forced to use a double tapped sink recently and had lots of trouble trying to inch it to the right temperature.

I love single taps.

Strawberry Cupcake

2008-10-10T16:16:00.002+11:00

One of the joys of being sent to work in Douta Galla is the fact that it's so near to a couple of fruit shops. Really cheap fruit shops.

Saw some strawberries for only $1.25 a punnet and could not resist. Buying strawberries always seemed like a gamble to me - one never knows if it's going to be nice and sweet or sour. Anyway, these turned out fine and I decided to bake some strawberry cupcakes with them.

Turned out really well, even if I do say so myself.

Diamonds, Dates and Dreams

2008-10-10T10:34:00.002+11:00

As I sat there telling the guy I have loved for years that his indifference towards me was killing me and I couldn't take it anymore - he turned around and said he has been feeling the same way for the past few years, but had been too afraid of the future to do anything.

As he announced to his family that I was the one, the family members immediately opposed his insane idea but the next thing I know we were walking down the aisle towards what looked like happily ever after.

He took out a ring and then proceeded to tell me that it was the product of many sacrifices so that he could give what was his life to his wife - then someone appeared and said that diamond had a fatal flaw and therefore it was worth mere pennies.

Confusion at the alter.

As that scene dissolved into nothingness another dream formed. I was going to watch Wicked with a date. As we promised to meet up I said I thought he had already watched it. He then said he had, but not with me.

Woke up with a start.

They were vivid dreams.

Pride, Patience and Pain

2008-10-09T22:53:00.003+11:00

Have had lots of opportunities to cultivate patience this week, particularly in community clinic.

Having done a recent bible study on that very topic, I tried to keep all the principles. For example, one should have patience when the situation can't be changed e.g. suction will only work when it's placed a certain way. Or when a person can't be changed. Or when life just doesn't seem very fair.

Anyway, the way to be patient is to just go with the flow and replace feelings of irritation with laughter.

Managed to limp along to a certain extent but came home to be faced with extreme pain on the left hand side of my face. Could not locate source of pain. Was it odontogenic? Sinusitis? Random stress-induced pain? Concluded it was probably the latter.

Anyway.

I'm quite tired of people who seem to think that they are invincible. At least have the decency to fake humility if you don't have it.

Scratch the above sentence - I shouldn't be complaining.

Bad Habits

2008-10-07T21:11:00.002+11:00

Have not cooked for a long time.

Things I've been eating the past week:

1. Cake. Lots of cake. Self baked as well as non-self baked.
2. Lattes. I used to be perfectly happy not drinking coffee but nowadays it's beginning to become more and more of a habit to just order one when I'm out.
3. KFC. Wicked wing snackboxes.
4. Norsiah's. A Malaysian/Singaporean place that serves all kinds of Malay style food. Am positively addicted to their fried drumsticks, rendang and sambal egg.

Am aware that should stop self-destructive habits but just can't seem to do so.

Reached a new low point in my life when I stood in the shower and suddenly had the desire to scrub the bathroom tiles with a toothbrush to get rid of grot. Yes, I kid you not. When I rather clean the bathroom than study, you know things are getting serious.

So now I have a semi-sparkling clean bathroom (will continue grot scrubbing in the next shower), a mouthful of apthous ulcers and several stacks of unstudied notes.

Yes, I'm going slightly insane.

An Afternoon In The Park

2008-10-07T16:14:00.002+11:00

Went out for a long lazy lunch with a friend I haven't met for ages.

After stuffing myself silly with an apple and rhubarb pie, we headed to the local playground. The scene was idyllic - children on see saws, moms and dads playing with their kids, and a labrador puppy frolicking, relishing his first day ever out in the park. He was only 8 and a half weeks old.

Sat there and didn't want to leave. Ever.

However as the afternoon wore on nagging thoughts about study crept into my mind and with a heavy heart, I left the park.

Can't wait for exams to be over.

Silicon Moulds

2008-10-07T10:28:00.003+11:00

A relatively new thing in baking is silicon moulds. Dubbed as the next miracle material that will revolutionize baking, it's meant to be the best thing since sliced bread - it's non-stick, easy to clean and use.

Right?

In my experience, it is not non stick. Have experienced the unpleasant task of digging out cupcake crumbs from the mould at least 3 times because I refuse to accept the fact that either the moulds don't work or I'm using silicon the wrong way.

Frustration.

Blank

2008-10-04T15:26:00.005+10:00

For the past few days I've just sat in front of my computer with the blogger page up with nothing to say.

Nothing.

There Is A Time

2008-10-03T19:39:00.002+10:00

After 2 of the most tiring weeks of my life I am pausing to catch my breath as I get ready for the last leg of the race, the final of all finals, the most important exam of my life - you name it.

There is a season for everything and everything is screaming to me that this is the season to study. No time to waste daydreaming, worrying about various inconsequential things or just plain doing nothing.

My ways of procrastinating are predictable. I will

1. Blog.
2. Daydream about what I will do once exams are over.
3. Eat all the contents of my fridge because I need 'nutrients'.
4. Sleep because I need 'rest'.
5. Paint my nails because I need to 'feel good'.

No more excuses. One massive file of Perio notes waiting for me to befriend it.

Piano Lessons

2008-10-02T14:39:00.002+10:00

Was talking to a friend from back home, reminiscing about the times when we were young and carefree. Specifically, our times with our music teacher.

My music teacher lived just down the block from my house - perhaps a 3 minute walk. The atmosphere of her home was delicious - the air was scented and everything was so clean and ... nice. Anyway, for practical classes if I practiced really hard she would tell me to go into the side room and pick out a sticker from the sticker box so she can stick it on the page as a reward. That gave me great pleasure - amazing how such small things could mean so much when one is young.

And theory classes... we would study together on her dining table and being the children that we were, there would be a lot of kicking each other under the table. I distinctly remember one of my friends behaving so badly that he was told to stand in a corner. And I bet he's reading this blog now burning in shame. At least, he should be burning in shame!

Anyway, they were happy times. All these memories came rushing back perhaps also after playing piano here after a long absence from it.

I miss it. A lot.

Roots, Begone!

2008-10-01T17:13:00.003+10:00

After getting increasingly aggravated because my roots were unsightly due to my rather light hair colour, I finally put an end to that agony by getting my hair colored back to my original hair color. Yes, that would be black.

Now that that's done, I can now study in peace. Or can I?

Am currently addicted several songs, including:

1. All The Love In The World - The Corrs
2. Breathless - Shayne Ward
3. Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift

Yes, I am feeling a tad emotional for some reason.

Chi Test

2008-09-30T10:39:00.002+10:00

What on earth is a chi test? Confused!

Dental Girl

2008-09-28T22:59:00.007+10:00

It is almost the end of another trimester and as I put in the fourth quarter of note paper into my diary I am compelled to re-evaluate my life for the past 9 months of the year.

I pretty much spent the first 3 months enjoying life and the second 3 months thinking about buying a car.

The 3rd quarter has definitely been the most interesting. In a way, totally unexpected.

The truth is that when I was a teen my faith in God was strong. I was one of the church pianists, spent every Sunday in church and pretty much had a good relationship with Him. But from the age of 16 my involvement dropped off - mainly because of some hurt feelings over a production of a play in church. Long story short - I walked away from God. I felt unappreciated, ill treated and was tired of people expecting so much out of me and felt it shouldn't be that hard.

When I came to Australia it was even easier to drift further and further away. First you miss a service once a month, then every couple of weeks and soon just the thought of having to wake up early on a Sunday is distasteful. Things get more and more irrelevant and suddenly you realize maybe you don't even believe in it at all.

Anyway, I'm grateful that I have found the way back to Him, in the most ridiculous way possible.

New Church Friend: So, you're in final year now. How come you've just joined the church?
Me: The honest answer would be that I got a car and figured now that it's easy to travel maybe I should come to church again.

I had initially wanted to just do the go to church every Sunday thing and be done with it - fulfill my obligation. However, I decided to take a step further and join a cell group and here I am - thankful that I made that life changing choice.

What have I learned? I have learned that God works in many ways and one should never underestimate what He can do.

Mountains will move for your name is God
Nothing's too hard for You, You created life
You make a way where there is no way
You make me strong, You'll be my strength always.

Awww.....

2008-09-26T17:01:00.002+10:00

I'm a avid reader of Questionable Content, which in my opinion is one of the best comics I've read in the past couple of years. Today's comic was adorable!!

On another note, have been baking like crazy to ease my panicked state of mind.

I just can't seem to get myself to do things. I know what has to be done and what the consequences are if I don't pull myself together but I just stubbornly sit around and expect to learn things by osmosis.

Suggestions, anyone?

Slightly Overwhelmed

2008-09-25T21:51:00.002+10:00

Been trying to hold everything together for the past few days.

I guess the problem with me is that the way I deal with problems is to just pretend they don't exist. As a result, I only deal with the problem when I really have to. Which pretty much makes me a procrastinator - a procrastinator with many things to deal with right now.

I have to stop thinking I deserve to enjoy life. Stop thinking I can take the afternoon off just because I feel a bit 'tired'. Stop thinking I can deal with problems 'tomorrow'. Stop thinking I still have time. Stop pretending everything will just fix itself magically.

Stop pretending and living in a world of denial.

Start doing.

My Favourite Things

2008-09-23T23:13:00.003+10:00

1. Crown Cementation Sessions - After sessions of toiling over the crown prep, temporary crowns and secondary impressions, the final product is ready to be cemented. Patient is happy. I'm happy. Everyone is happy.

2. 400ml Water Bottles - Just the right size.

3. Free Days

4. Perfectly Made Bed - Flat sheet perfectly flat, duvet not too high or too low, pillows exactly right.

5. Pancakes for Breakfast

Class II Div I

2008-09-22T11:51:00.003+10:00

"What do you think of this girl? Her teeth arrives 10 minutes before she does!" - Lecturer in Orthodontics

Cruel. Yet at the same time... I'll never forget what Class II Div I means after this.

21 Days

2008-09-21T16:50:00.004+10:00

I survived.

1 hour of internet a day for 21 days was not easy. I have to admit that I did cheat a little here and there though but overall I think I kept to it pretty well.

Did I get anything out of it? I would have to say yes. As I flipped through my journal back to Day 1 and see where I am at Day 21, I have to say that a lot has changed. Maybe not outwardly but definitely internally.

I'm feeling... blessed.

Saturday Morning

2008-09-20T09:29:00.002+10:00

Was rostered to work on a Saturday morning to deal with emergency patients.

My swipe card to get into the clinic doesn't work on weekends because students aren't supposed to be in the hospital during weekends. While I foolishly stood at the door with my swipecard getting rejected every time I tried, a patient walked through the door and I proceded to go in.

Patient: Are you sure you have access to this area?
Me: Yes. I work here.
Patient: Then why can't you get in?
Me: I don't usually work on Saturdays.
Patient: Do you mind showing me your ID? Just in case.
Me: *shows ID grumpily*

I know he's just doing what is right by his conscience but seriously - do you think I want to be here at 9am on a Saturday morning??

Cough

2008-09-19T21:36:00.003+10:00

I thought I recovered from my bout of cough and sore throat but today when I woke up I felt the unmistakable signs of sore throat. Again.

Starting to cough again now too.

Why?

Questions

2008-09-18T10:47:00.005+10:00

Demonstrator: How does warfarin work?
Me: *blank stare*

Demonstrator: What are the branches of the mandibular nerve?
Me: Uh....the inferior alveolar nerve!
Demonstrator: And...?
Me: *blank stare*

Demonstrator: What supplies the parotid gland?
Me: *blank stare*
Demonstrator: It's CN IX. Come on...what is it?
Me: *blank stare*

I'm going to fail!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Full blown panic attack now.

Wisdom

2008-09-18T10:47:00.002+10:00

What is wisdom?

It is the ability to have insight into the true nature of things. And to know what to do and when to do the right thing for the best results.

I want wisdom!

Compassion

2008-09-17T08:44:00.002+10:00

I don't think I'm a very compassionate person.

Sometimes when a patient I dislike comes through the door I groan inwardly and wish I didn't have to deal with them. They're brash, they demand for all sorts of things, they are usually complaining because they're in severe pain and all you want to do is to get them out of the chair as soon as possible. Isn't it their own fault they got there in the first place?

However, yesterday as my patient asked me to please give him a shot of LA to put him out of his misery, even for 1-2 hours - I was compelled to feel compassion. After all, if I was having pain that was 10/10 wouldn't I be cranky too? I mean, of course they should have considered brushing their teeth more but it's already done, but we nothing is going to change that so we should just move on and try to do the best we can.

As I bent over to give the IANB to the patient, telling him it might not work anyway but we try our best, his expression and personality visibly changed. By the end of the carpule he was as meek as a lamb and by the time he got out of the chair - all gratitude.

I guess it doesn't matter that another woman abused me for refusing to give her more than 10 tablets of Panadeine Forte - "I know you can prescibe more than that you're just saying you can't!" or that I was stuck in the clinic from 6-8.30pm when everyone else in the hospital had long deserted the place.

At least I put one man out of his misery for 1-2 hours.

Update

2008-09-16T09:29:00.002+10:00

This is supposed to be the toughest week of the year for me - hospital rotation with emergency service at night.

Except when I went for the hospital side of it, they said it was a non operating week i.e. I didn't have to go in!

:D

Anyway, life has been pretty hectic for me lately. Mainly because of exams and case presentation worries and things. Been doing pretty okay so far though. Just looking forward to the day all of this will be over.

Happy To Be Alive

2008-09-11T10:56:00.010+10:00

Woke up at 7.30am automatically, looked out and realized it was going to be a great day in Melbourne today.

Decided there and then that I wasn't going to waste this gift and decided to go to Port Melbourne with a couple of friends for fish and chips and to sit at the beach a while, enjoying the sun and the breeze and the feeling of carefreeness and joy. For those few hours, I am not a dental student with tons of stuff I haven't studied.

With warm weather comes a sense of happiness. I don't do very well in winter - I sleep a lot, am constantly grumpy and just not up for many things.

Can't stop smiling.

Balloons

2008-09-11T10:24:00.002+10:00

Every Chinese New Year when I was young, it was the tradition that all the young children in the family would get a balloon each to amuse ourselves.

How we loved it! Our older cousins who had the all important driving license would drive us to the balloon man and we would wait impatiently as he filled up the balloons with helium. Then we would drive back home with the car full of balloons to play with.

Inevitably someone would accidentally let go of their balloon and tears would result while everyone else watched as it sailed away - higher and higher until it was just a small speck in the sky. However, there were always spares and the poor child would be consoled with a new balloon. The rest of us would be reminded to hold on to our balloons with our dear life or tie it onto something if we wanted to escape the same fate.

Towards the end of the day when the balloons started to lose their buoyancy, it was time to use up the remnants of helium to impersonate Donald Duck. And that was that - another New Year gone and another year to wait.

To my dear cousin who is now not with us anymore - thank you for your kindness to us younger cousins and all the good memories that we have with you. I will always remember with fondness your cheerful nature, your generosity and most impressionably, your aura of confidence and self-assuredness.

Speechless

2008-09-09T16:12:00.002+10:00

Woke up this morning, tried to talk and only a whisper came out.

I have officially lost my voice. Decided that I deserved the day off and did just that - skipped hospital for a day.

Spent the day coughing my lungs out. Feeling quite miserable. My abdominal muscles hurt now from all the exercise it has had to do with all my coughing. My super sporty friend was appalled when she heard that can actually happen to someone who doesn't exercise regularly. I think she now thinks I'm one step from being an invalid due to my inactivity.

And Nadal didn't make it to the final of the US Open!! I guess this just hasn't been my week.